Nick Jonas can’t stop talking about his gay fans, and his gay fans can’t stop talking about Nick Jonas. So it’s time to take a scientific (sort of) look at what happens to your body when Jonas does his gay thing.
1. First 10 Minutes
A heat wave hits your body, simulating a state of shock and causing an adrenaline rush.
2. 20 Minutes
You google Jonas to verify the quote. You get distracted by his many shirtless pictures.
3. 30 Minutes
Your body ups your dopamine production, stimulating the pleasure centers of your brain. This is physically the same way Coke works, by the way.
4. 40 Minutes
You start planning your gay wedding to Nick. Your blood pressure rises – What will you wear?!
5. 45 Minutes
You hear his brother Joe also said something about gay fans. Is this all a ploy?
6. 50 Minutes
The anger properties come into play. “Nick is just gay baiting! I’m cancelling the wedding!”
7. 60 Minutes
As the rage inside of you dies down, you’ll start to have a Jonas crash. You’ve also now wasted an hour of your life, so your body compensates by starting to look for more Nick Jonas shirtless pictures.