If you spend too much on the internet in general, and Grindr in particular, you might get the idea the gay community is busy with crazy sex all day long.

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It’s not necessarily the reality, but that’s sometimes the perception – and some gay men feel they can’t keep up.

Gay couple kissing

“Do you feel like a slut phase is a gay rite of passage?”, asks this guy on Reddit, “I was looking through a ‘what’s the sluttiest thing you’ve done‘ thread and I feel so vanilla.”

Then, he lists the many things he HAS done:

I’ve had a threesome with a married couple, slept with a guy that already had a boyfriend, sucked off some random grindr trade in a department store bathroom within 10 minutes of talking to him…

But it doesn’t really compare to being banged by 10 guys at a sex party. Anyone else feel like they haven’t earned their imaginary gay card because they haven’t taken enough wieners up the butt?

The Redditors were quick to offer some support:

I think it’s pretty normal to take advantage of the opportunities you have, but it’s silly to consider it some kind of obligation. I think you are probably about average for a younger gay guy. Remember that the really vanilla guys aren’t going to post in those threads at all.