1. “I only use it to chat with my friends” – Yeah, because there’s a shortage of instant messaging apps out there.


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2. “I’m a trainer/hairdresser/photographer and I’m only using it to advertise my business!” – Sorry, going to bed with a guy isn’t a very effective advertising technique.

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3. “I just like receiving compliments from guys about my body” – Because the Grindr community is known for being loving and supportive!

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4. “It’s for research. I’m writing an academic paper on the LGBT community” – If that were true in every case, the LGBT community could have opened 20,469 universities by now.

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5. “My hot, female model girlfriend installed it on my phone by accident” – Oh so she’s not only your cover, you’re also saying she’s stupid. She would be thrilled to hear this.


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6. “I was drunk and installed it by accident” – Sure, that could work. Were you drunk when you used it to hook up with someone?


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7. “You mean Tinder. I have Tinder on my phone. What? It’s not?!” – An easy mistake to make. Going to bed with a guy instead of a girl and having wild sex is also an easy mistake to make. Oops.

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8. “I use it to communicate with my co-workers” – If THAT’S what you do with your co-workers, that’s just a lawsuit waiting to happen.

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9. “My frat buddies installed it on my phone as a prank!” – You had us at “frat buddies”. Now let’s hear some more about those hazing rituals.

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