With porn being so readily available on the Internet, sometimes people assume sex education is no longer needed.

Which is a mistake for many reasons – but one of which was what happened to this guy, who for his entire life was positive he was not circumcised, until he discovered… he was.

Man in locker room with friends
Illustrative Photo

This all happened to this guy on Reddit, who had a very wrong notion of what circumcision actually meant.

“Like most American males born in the 80s”, he writes, “I was circumcised at birth. However, I would not become aware of this fact until much later.”

So how did that happen?

I grew up in a small Midwestern town in a religious family, where sexuality wasn’t so much repressed as not even discussed.

That meant that most of my education came via the media. One particularly formative instance of this was the movie Robin Hood: Men in Tights, which I must have seen when I was 13 or so.

For those who haven’t seen it, there’s a scene where a Jewish character is offering bargain circumcisions with a miniature guillotine. From this I learned two things: circumcision is something Jewish people do (I had never met a Jewish person) and it removes the head of the penis.

My thought process: ‘Well, I’m not Jewish and my penis has a head, so I’m not circumcised.’ And that was about the end of that.

Fast forward five or so years: College. Internet. Discover porn. There’s a lot that can be said here, but the main point is that all the dicks looked like mine, other than being a little bit bigger, so really no red flags were going up.

Fast forward a bit more. Playing “Never have I ever” with some friends and acquaintances freshman year. One of the girls offers “Never have I ever…seen an uncircumcised penis.”

The statement surprised me a little, and I noticed that no one else’s hand went up. Being a bit shy, I of course kept mine down.

Later that night, I see her on AIM (R.I.P.) and ask her why she chose that question. She responds “They’re like a unicorn, I just want to see what they look like and play with one.”

I, still being a bit tipsy, and also stupid, think to myself “She must be Jewish.” I tell her “Actually…I didn’t want to talk about my dick during the game but I’m actually not circumcised.”

Her response: “WHAT?! WHY DIDN’T YOU SAY SOMETHING? GET OVER HERE NOW!”

So, I rush over to her dorm. I get there and she practically demands to see my dick. I say that to at least make it fair she has to take her top off.

She starts rubbing my dick through my jeans and says “Take these off and the bra comes off too.” So I rip them off as fast as possible, boxers too, only for her to see my dick and say “Dude, what the FUCK?!

At this point I’m terrified…”What’s wrong??”

You’re circumcised...what the fuck, did you think I was still going to hook up with you even if you lied?”

Me: “What are you talking about?? I still have my dick head

Her: “You can’t be serious. Oh my God.” Followed by laughing, and an explanation of what circumcision was. No hookup happened, sadly.

Bonus: She told her friends, and it got back to my friends, and I earned the nickname “Chopcock”