Are we all so used to Grindr (and similar dating apps) by now, that we don’t even notice its sometimes-overwhelming nature and streams filled with dick pics and hookup searchers? A guy who recently just started using it for the first time – certainly noticed.

Shirtless man holding phone
Illustrative Photo

“I’ve been single for a couple of months now”, writes this guy on Reddit, “And started using Grindr as suggested by a friend. This is my first time using any dating or hookup app.”

And it was a… unique experience:

“I had it open for a little over 5 minutes and it was…overwhelming.

A flood of everything from dick and ass pics to simple hellos came in at a dozen messages a minute (I live in a large city with tons of guys) and I found myself force-closing the app after failing to find a way to take myself offline.

Honestly I’m not a 1-night-stand kind of guy and would prefer to meet people and become friends before moving forward to anything more intimate. Despite having put that in my profile, it apparently went ignored.

What’s the etiquette in those situations? Do you respond to them all, or some, or what? I don’t want to be a dick, but I have zero experience with these things and don’t know if it’s commonplace to just ignore messages that overlook what I’m looking for or if it’s customary to say “no thanks.”

It’s just a lot of messages and I feel like I’d be spending way too much time getting around to them all.”

Most of the commenters attributed this to the fact that he’s a “new” face: “In a week or two that will cease when you stop being the ‘Fresh meat.’ Then people who actually read your profile will get to you.”