Sex drives are not always aligned in a relationship. Sometimes, one guy has a bigger need than the other one… which is what happened to his guy on Reddit, who came to seek advice.
“We’ve been together for about a year”, he writes. “Sex with him is amazing. He’s a brilliant top. He knows exactly what to do and how to do it. I’ve never been sexually satisfied at this level in my life.”
Still… there’s a problem:
“So he drops the bomb today that he’s not very satisfied with the frequency of sex that we have. He thinks the quality is great but he needs more.
The thing is, I don’t think I can do it. I always drop him hints about sex and he always approaches me when the hints are there, which happens more or less 4 times a week.
I’ve always known he needs more, and on most days that we don’t have sex I blow him and I always thought that’s good enough and he says he enjoys them but he says he still needs actual penetrative sex on most of those days.
I want him to be happy and satisfied and I’m not sure how this situation can be remedied. Is there a way for me to increase my sex drive so I can satisfy him better? Should we settle for a compromise? I don’t even know what such a compromise would look like.
One Redditor had some sound advice:
Sounds like it’s time you sat him down and told him that you simply don’t WANT more than you do right now. At least it sounds like that.
If you do a lot of prep to bottom, I’ll state you probably shouldn’t do it a lot more often. (Some guys really overdo it.)
Why don’t you top him on occasion. That’ll spice things up and he’ll learn what’s involved for you to be ready those 4 days and how much time it takes you. There are other things you can do as well which it sounds like he’s ignoring.
He spoke up. (Good for him!) Now it’s your turn to do the same thing. Keep it neutral and non-emotional. Just tell him why you don’t want to do it more and what you suggest instead or as compromise. Go from there. If he is willing or unable to discuss it as an adult, you will have learned a lesson before spending more time with him