Even as gay men, we sometimes go into boxes and habits when it comes to sex. And while the first hookup question is often “top/bottom”, there are gay men who just don’t want ANY anal sex.

Two guys
Illustrative Photo

“Some homosexual men do not desire anal sex at all and never have”, writes this guy on Reddit. I don’t mind being a ‘side.’ I actually think it’s pretty great.”

And he elaborates:

I have a great sex life. That said, there are a lot of gays on the apps who I will talk to about what I’m into, and they always ask “what else are you into?” Like I haven’t gotten to the “juiciest detail,” (top or bottom).

Have I tried topping and bottoming? Yes I have. Bottoming was unpleasant and not enjoyable in any respect other than it made my partner happy.

Topping was just an inferior form of masturbation. I came, but would have preferred to cum another way. I have also gotten multiple prostate massages. And sometimes it added a tingle here and a jingle there, but it wasn’t radically better or different for me than just getting off from penis stimulation.

Never have I sought out anal sex videos in porn and I have spent a greater chunk of my life watching porn than is comfortable to admit.

To sides out there: don’t be ashamed of being a side. And don’t do anal just because that’s what everyone else is doing.

Even if everyone around was into anal, everyone enjoys bjs and hjs and massages and other stuff. There are more of us than you think. And there are plenty of guys who do anal for reasons other than sexual attraction to anal sex (body contact, pleasing partner, etc).

While many in the comments agreed with him, others brought up the point of them not liking blowjobs at all, for example. Which goes to show that sex should be flexible, and accommodate different needs and desires.