Love it or hate it, Grindr can help you get a lot of fun – or a lot of heart breaks. This one guy on Reddit, who felt disgusting every time he opened the app, decided enough was enough – and deleted the app. But what was he so annoyed with?

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A gay bear - Why I deleted grindr
Illustrative Photo: Deposit Photos

“I’ve been using Grindr off and on since around 2010”, he writes, “And last week I finally deleted my account. Not just deleted the app (we’ve all done that), but deleted my whole account.”

He further explains what it was that made him feel so bad while using Grindr.

I’m a bear, definitely in the overweight category. I have a strong network of friends who love and care for me, and I want desperately to find someone to share my life with. 

But Grindr, I have decided, for me personally, is not the place to find that. I found that I was checking the app with almost every spare moment I had.

And each time I found that I didn’t have any new messages, I felt the slightest bit worse about myself. What’s wrong with me? Yes, I’m a fat guy, but there are plenty of guys I’m attracted to (lean, maybe athletic, maybe muscular, maybe twink, I’m sort of…eclectic, in my tastes) who are attracted to me.

I know they exist because I’ve had sex with and/or dated them at one time or another. But, even though I know logically that sometimes guys you’re into just aren’t into you, and that there’s nothing wrong with that, I could not get away from the awful way that Grindr made me feel.

Every time I showed an interest in someone and he either failed to respond, or chatted me up for a few minutes before ghosting away, this little voice in the back of my head whispered, “What do you expect? You’re disgusting. You’re a fat slob. You don’t care about being active, so how can you expect an active, attractive young man to care about you?”

And his conclusion? “For me, the only decision that made sense was to delete the app completely. I still hate myself, but at least now I don’t have Grindr providing a number of reasons each day to hate myself even more.”