When you’re looking for random hookups, personality is often not at the top of the list. But when you go on a “real” date, you want something more… so what do you do when you find out your date is mean and insulting?

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Took a nude selfie - found it on grindr
Illustrative Photo

It all started for this guy on Reddit when he was tired of just hooking up, and decided to start dating and actually know the men he’s seeing.

“I meet this cute guy, we get some lunch, walk around a bit and make out in a park. So far so good, right?

I had to leave after that because I had other plans but I really, really wanted to hook up with him at the end of the date.


While I’m on my way home, he texts me ‘I owe you some pictures’. I realize he wanted to swap nudes, but I thought that wasn’t a good idea. I almost always do that while I’m hooking up with someone, but this wasn’t a hook up so I politely declined.


He said ‘So you won’t share those with me but you’ll share it with some stranger on Grindr?’. Two things : a. I’ve already mentioned, this wasn’t a hook up and I just didn’t feel like sharing it; b. We had just been on one date, so he wasn’t far from a ‘random stranger from Grindr’ either.


This was over the weekend. Cut to today : I wasn’t getting a feeling he was interested in meeting up later in the week (as he had planned), so I said it might not be a good idea to continue this and thanked him for a good time.


He accused me of being narcissistic. He said ‘The guy you were in love with left you because you’re so rude’ (rude for not sharing pictures of my junk, apparently);

I finally did share nudes to get him off my back and he later started trying to insult me based on my junk (the usual: I’m bigger than you etc.), and this was after he had already complimented me when I first sent it to him. So much for honesty.


Like seriously, what the fuck? He wasn’t the smartest cookie I’ve met but at least use your head. If you were so upset at me not sharing pictures of my junk, just say it and get it over with. No point spewing all the venom at the inevitable end of this charade.


I thought I was ready to get to know someone better and share more than just a fuck with them, never realized I was so wrong.


I am not sure if this was already one of the reasons I wasn’t a fan of the whole dating thing, but I’ll have to look out for these warning signs if and when I plan on going out on another date in the future.”