Take a straight guy with a big penis, a bit of a vanity issue, and some greed, add them all up, and what do you get? Hours of gay erotic fiction late at night, for money, only to find out it was all a sham. Wait, what?

Man computer webcam
Illustrative Photo

This incredible story happened to this guy on Reddit, who – in the middle of the night – got sucked into erotic role-playing with another man. And why? because he wanted praise for his big penis… AND he thought he was going to get paid for it…

“I’ll start by making clear that I am a heterosexual male”, he writes. “I’m also, as many people are strongly motivated by vanity and my ego.”

Then he adds – “I have an unusually large penis. It’s pretty cool, but it’s always found ways of causing trouble.”

And that’s where his sad story begins.

“So, there’s an app, called Whisper, people might be familiar with it. Basically it’s a bit like twitter, with more anonymity, less politics and way more horny dudes that want to get laid.

For a while now I’ve been using whisper to make posts that imply something about the size of my penis...

So the way that this normally goes down, a girl will message me, curious about it and has requested a picture within the first few messages, I oblige. I get the response I want and sometimes a few pictures from her.

Now, where it gets interesting is when a guy messages me in much the same way. This also is fine, I’m less into it, but vanity’s vanity, I’ll send them a picture, get the whole “Awesome dick man!” And we’re all on our merry way without much more to say or do about it.

The latter situation is what began the fuck up.

Everything was quite normal, we’ll skip to just past “Awesome Dick!” to “I’d leave my boyfriend for you! He doesn’t satisfy me sexually”

Now at this point, I’m first and foremost thinking, “Please don’t” and feeling bad for this guy’s boyfriend.

I try to tell the guy that I’m sure he loves his boyfriend for other reasons, and that it’s not all about sex. I even bring up that I‘ve slept with a few straight couples where the female partner isn’t feeling satisfied and as long as everybody’s down with it, no one needs to break up over it.

He then asks me if I want to make some money by talking to him.

He says he’ll pay me $100 for some “naughty details”, he also tells me that he’s bi and “doesn’t mind”.

So I’m thinking, OK, I’ll just tell him about what it’s like to cuckold a couple, I’ll keep them super anonymous with made up names, and I’m sure it won’t take long because it’s late and I want to sleep.

Away we go! $100 coming right up!

Nope! Two sentences in he tells me that he wants me to talk to him about how I’d cuckold his boyfriend by having sex with him.

So what was expected to be a recount of playfully embellished raunchy facts is now a full blown work of homoerotic fiction.

Well this is a new genre for me, but in my greedy mind, I’ve still got that $100 tickling my paypal account.

So why not?

I get started and you know what? It’s going pretty well. He’s enjoying this, I’m pretty good at this. $100 in sight.

Turns out, he’s a little impatient, he doesn’t fully appreciate the caliber of detail I’m pouring into setting the scene. So he ups the stakes and offers me $200 dollars to pick up the pace and get to the “main event.”

Now I’ve got to write $200 dollars worth of erotic literature. I’m starting to think about future pricing, maybe this is a career now?

Things are starting to get graphic, I’m finding it a little weird, but $200 pays for a decent amount of weird in my world.

It’s getting close to 3am and I really want to sleep. I begin to draw the story to a close as it hurdles toward an explosive end. At this point he says he’ll pay me $800 dollars to keep going.

800 fucking dollars!

My desire to sleep is a distant second to my desire for $800.

I finally do something reasonably smart, though still hugely motivated by greed and tell him that I’ll keep going (for round two) if he transfers the first $200 now.

He says that’s fine but his internet’s a bit slow, so it might take a few minutes.

A few minutes, I can do that, he’s not said that it’s going to take half an hour or that he can do it tomorrow. A few minutes and I’ll have $200 with $800 on the way. And if this dude’s willing to spend $800 on this, for sure there’ll be repeat business!

He asks if I can keep going while he makes the payment.

I know I should be firm on this, but he seems nice and polite and very apologetic about the delay, so I slow things down, nothing too raunchy while I constantly refresh the page displaying my paypal balance.

Now this guy’s my best (only) client on this new venture, I’ve got to keep him happy. So amid frantic f5’s I pick up the pace. He says he’s going to transfer the whole $800 and some extra for being patient.

As I hit send on the newest paragraph, the screen flashes up with a little exclamation mark. “Oh, it didn’t send, I’ll check my Wi-Fi”

Wi-Fi’s fine. Browser pages are loading. A new message appears….

“You’ve been blocked!”

Well Fuck.

Paypal; Nothing.

Close and re-open the whisper app; Nothing.

I sit quietly for a moment allowing what’s just happened to sink in. I’ve just written just over 2 hours of personalized gay erotic fiction for absolutely no reason.