With gay/straight/bi labels disappearing all around us, it’s sometimes easy to forget that when you’re having sex with a “straight” friend, and he’s married – there’s also an actual wife on the other side. But when that wife finds out…

Shirtless man holding phone
Illustrative Photo

That’s what happened to this guy on Reddit, who was having sex with his [male], “straight”, married best friend for 12 years (!), until the wife found out, and decided to confront him about it. The friend, not her husband.

“I’ve been having sex with my best friend for about 12 years.”, he explains. “He’s been married the entire time. It started when he would complain about his wife’s lack of interest in sex.”

But it didn’t stop there…

“He loves blow jobs and she won’t even consider sucking his cock. As any good, gay friend would do, I offered to step in. Selfishly of course.

My friend is attractive, fit and we’ve been workout buddies for as long as we’ve been friends… until I made him a proposition.

Fast forward 12 years and we still see one another for sex about 3 times a month. It was very tame at first, then developed into full-blown, penetrative sex on both sides. My friend has always been paranoid about his wife finding out.

One week ago, I received a letter from his wife asking me to stop having sex with her husband. It was short and to the point. She says she’s suspected for years, but had convinced herself her husband is totally straight. ‘So, yes. I know you are having sex with my husband. Please stop.”

Apparently, she got into his phone and my friend had not deleted several sexually oriented text messages we had exchanged about meeting up.

She says she won’t confront her husband and doesn’t want a divorce, she just wants the sex to stop. I know that she hasn’t had sex with her husband for almost 4 years. I’ve had more sex with her husband than she has throughout their entire married life.

I enjoy the sex I have with my friend. Early on it was just about getting each other off. Now it’s passionate, spend the night, make you breakfast after, kind of sex.

My friend has often told me I’m the only man he’s ever had sex with. I want to believe it’s true, but I wouldn’t be surprised if It wasn’t.

My friend has no idea she knows, has no idea she’s written to me and I can’t imagine telling him. I’m in a pickle..

The commenters were quick to say he should own up to his actions:

You willingly engaged him, knowing he had a commitment. It’s all on you. Own what you’ve done. I’m reading a ton of excuses in your post. He’s married. Don’t be a shit.

Get out or try to take him away. Understand that if you choose the latter, it’ll probably get ugly. Grow up. Take the consequences if it’s worth it, but also understand what type of man you’re dealing with.

Gay/straight/bi whatever is irrelevant. She’s hurt, and she has no blame here.