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When we’re just hooking up, it’s often easier to play along with sexual fantasies and kinks. But when you’re in a relationship, these things are sometimes harder to talk about. The men of Reddit were asked – What kinks/turn-ons are you embarrassed to tell your Significant Other about – and these were some of their answers:

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1. Memories

Group of sexy men

My husband was very sexually active before I met him. He told me he went to a sex club once and ended up orally servicing a small group of guys. “My mouth was really full,” were his words. I imagine that when masturbating but I feel like I could never tell him that it turns me on.

2. Take control!

Skinny man shirtless

Being submissive… part of the issue is that I just have a hard time seeing my short and skinny twink boyfriend as being dominant. It’s something he’d have to take the initiative on and surprise me with for it to really work, I think.

3. No bondage for you

Man holding handcuffs - bondage

That I want to be bound and edged. I tried to talk him to just a little light bondage like tying my wrists together, but he didn’t want to. Which is ironic considering I’ve engaged in his kink, which he knows I’m pretty “meh” about.

4. Daddy Issues

Older man with young man

Just started dating a guy my same age (28) and I’ve always had a daddy thing. Love older men, love daddy role play. Most gay men are accustomed to that sort of thing but I’m not so sure how this guy feels about it. We’re rural so things straying from vanilla tend to be far more taboo out here.

5. Baby Issues

Man with pacifier

I go through phases, maybe a few weeks a year or so, where I get really into guys wearing diapers. It’s more about humiliating the guy wearing it than it is about the diaper itself.

6. If it makes you happy

Two men in bed

I’m a pleaser, and getting someone really turned on turns me on. I get a kick out of fulfilling his fetishes/fantasies, but I’m embarrassed about the potential for misinterpretation, mostly.

7. The List

Man writing in notebook in bed

I’ve got a list, I usually mention it casually as a passing funny joke and test the waters with a guy based on how he takes it. When things have gotten much more serious with guys I tell them fully, or they have guessed by then.

8. Walk of shame

Man in bed next to feet

I used to be very self-conscious about mine – Feet. My ex was very vanilla and I didn’t tell him much. It got easier the more comfortable I became in my own skin.

9. Size matters?

Surprised business men

I have a thing for being dominant, but I am thin and on the lower end of normal height, plus I just look young. I feel like if I told him he would laugh or not take me seriously.