Let’s face it – sometimes you need some alone time. But when you do, it helps to actually be… alone.
This poor guy, however, can’t seem to do it right – because his parents keep walking in on him – again, and again, and again. It’s a sad situation… but also quite hilarious.
Mind you, the guy is 22, but lives with his parents at the moment after returning from college. He came to Reddit to air his grievances.
“I wait until everyone’s asleep for a few hours to jack the fuck off. It ranges from somewhere between 12am and 4am. yet… every. single. night.
They wake up righhhhhhhhhhhht before I’m about to cum. I’m literally all set up with my fucking rag in front of me and I hear that creaking floor at fucking 1:29am from across the house. FUCK OFF.
Creek creek creek creek… throws rag on floor, panicly closes all porn tabs, covers up my dick with my hoodie, pull open YouTube tab…
Door opens – “hey son”, says bullshit that I can’t even comprehend because my adrenaline is too high. It’s never useful information. Never.
One time I literally came inside my hoodie because my mom walked in on me mid cum. I was pulsating cum into my hoodie as I was talking to my mom. I didn’t even close the PornHub tab, I just moved it to the side. good thing she doesn’t recognize the color scheme.
And my dad decides the bathroom right next to my bedroom is better than the one in his room two feet from his bed. And he walks all quiet so I honestly can’t tell he is coming until it’s almost too late.
Every time I successfully cum I can’t even enjoy it because I’m completely vulnerable for about 20 seconds. That’s about triple the time it takes for them to get out of bed and enter my room.
I almost got caught three fucking times since I moved back home three weeks ago. Can you people just stay asleep for more than three hours and not wake up to piss and check on me????”
