Honesty should be the pillar of a good relationship. But what do you do when you find out your boyfriend, for the past 10 years, has been lying to you – and all because of sex?
That’s what happened to this guy on Reddit, whose boyfriend gave him a very painful reason for being a “top only.” Until… the truth came out.
“I first met my man through a hookup site”, he writes. “‘A friendless nerd looking for a one night stand’, he posted. He made it very clear on his profile that he was a total top. I’m vers, but since I thought it was only going to be a hookup, I didn’t mind and went along with it.”
And those were just the seeds of the mess to come…
“We connected. It’s hard to explain but, from the moment we met, I felt that this wasn’t going to be an ordinary hookup. We started seeing each other…
We were boyfriends after a year. But I must say, I missed being a top. I had to ask, why was he a total top?
He got very emotional, he even cried. He said that his uncle had assaulted him when he was little. He said that the mere thought of being a bottom sent him into a panic.
I understood. Perhaps not completely, but I knew that that was impossible, and didn’t mind, because I love him. So, I settled with becoming a total bottom from then on. It didn’t really bother me.
A couple of days ago, his father died. They were really close. When I came back from work I found him completely drunk; he grabbed my vodka.
I tried to calm him down and tried to stabilize him. He kept thrashing around and speaking nonsense. I wish it had just been nonsense.
He grabbed me from the collar, and asked me to forgive him. I told him that there was no reason for an apology. But then he said it.
I was never raped.
For what I could gather from all he was saying, he didn’t want to bottom because, get this, he’s A MAN!
He was in such a bad shape that I took him to the hospital. But… now I don’t know. I don’t know.
I mean, had he told me from the very beginning, hey I simply don’t want to, or, it makes me uncomfortable, or maybe even I’ve tried it and it’s just not for me, I would have understood. It wouldn’t have been a problem.
But now… I feel betrayed, to be honest.
My best friend, the only one I’ve told this, told me to just dump him as soon as possible, even before he’s out of the hospital. Who makes up such a lie just to get out of bottoming?
But I don’t know. I really love him, but I’m not sure if I can trust him anymore.”
