Relationships come in all shapes and sizes – closed relationships, open relationships, gay and straight and bisexual and everything in between.

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But what happens when a straight girl is OK with her boyfriend having sex with men on the side – but is worried about his lack of honesty with… his hookups?

Man sad on the bed

That’s what happened to this girl on Reddit, who came to seek advice on a gay channel. She’s straight – and her boyfriend is bisexual.

“My boyfriend and I have basically agreed to an open-ish relationship”, she begins. “My boyfriend is attracted to me but he also like penises and I don’t have one.”

So they have an arrangement – but there’s a problem.

“So the agreement is that he can sleep with other people IF he tells me about it. And only guys. I just couldn’t really deal with him sleeping with girls because it would make me insecure.

And, of course, he has to use protection (he’s also on prep as an extra precaution). And my boyfriend is happy with all of this. He has a Grindr account and I’m completely aware that he uses it to hook up with men.

However, I always assumed that he told these guys he had a girlfriend. Well, that’s not the case. Turns out he pretends he’s single.

He says it would be too hard “explaining” me to the guys he fools around with and it would “limit his pool” if these guys knew he about his straight girlfriend.

I don’t know how to feel about this. I don’t want to feel like a side piece or a secret.

But he doesn’t seem to really understand where I’m coming from since he’s honest with me about everything and it’s hard for me to even articulate why this bothers me.

So I guess I came to ask if what he’s doing seems reasonable. I mean, I’m sure if I push the issue, he’ll start telling people about me. (He’s very considerate overall or I wouldn’t be with him).

But I also don’t want to ruin his experience and make it so he can’t attract as many guys anymore (since that’s basically what he thinks will happen).

One commenter summed it up nicely for her:

You aren’t a side piece or a secret. The men he’s hooking up with are, and not mentioning you to them keeps them from feeling that way.