Sex toys can be a lot of fun… until something goes wrong. If you don’t know what you’re doing – be careful!

Which is what happened to this guy on Reddit, who decided to have some fun with his roommate’s… triple cock ring (yes, you can get one on Amazon). However, things quickly went from bad to worse.

Man shocked pulling his hair
Illustrative Photo

“Due to improper planning”, the guy writes, “I ran out of personal lubricant so I took a visit to my roommate’s drawer to see if he had some. He did, as well as some other things. One of those things was what I can only describe as a triple cock-ring.”

He thought it would fit. Why? Because “For context, my roommate is a 6’2 black guy and I’m a 5’10 ginger. Naturally, I assumed that, if anything, this device would be too big for me. I was woefully wrong.”

Be careful with racial profiling and assumptions! So that’s where things got… stuck.

“I was in the mood so I didn’t think through the possible consequences of placing my most precious parts in this stainless steel death trap.

Almost immediately after wriggling my naughty bits into this thing, I realized my horrible mistake.

Within 30 seconds, my twig and berries transformed into a grotesque set of eggplant and plums. As with any bad situation, I figured my best way out was to power through. I took the aforementioned lube and went to town.

After what felt like a lifetime, I began to approach climax. For my trouble, I was hoping for an intensely pleasurable orgasm. Again, I was wrong.

Instead of a powerful release, I was met with an intense pain in my perineum and nothing came out. This thing was so tight that there was NO ejaculate. I freaked out.

I figured once I got this nonsense torture device off my situation, things would resolve themselves but again, I was wrong.

The caricature emoji that was my junk, remained fully engorged. I continued to freak out. I didn’t want to go to the ER and have some firefighter saw this horrifying mistake off my adult parts, so I did the next logical thing.

I filled a bowl with ice and water, dunked my bits and hoped for salvation. After 15 minutes, the swelling subsided to the point that I could manipulate the affected area out of the contraption.

After another 20 minutes of icing my genitals, I went to relieve myself and proceeded to pass, what I assumed to be, a frothy mixture of man milk and urine.”