To each his own, as they say, and some people pour blessed oil on their head and beard, to ward off evil spirits.
But when a young man from a Muslim family accidentally masturbated – and shot into – that blessed oil bottle… he never imagined his entire family would indirectly get… a facial from him.
This crazy story happened to this guy on Reddit, who just wanted to “try out some oil as lube for the first time”. You know, for fun. “… And it went pretty smooth.”
That’s when things started to get complicated.
“I was in a really furious session on the bathroom sink while dumbass me had the open bottle placed on the sink, and my second shot hit the opening.
I managed to clean some off, but some of it dripped off inside and I let it slide only because I thought no one in my house was gonna use the bottle of mustard oil within the next week, and I would’ve finished it by then considering how much I enjoyed the session.
I shook the bottle, made sure it mixed enough to not be visible, and placed it back to where it was.
A few minutes back, I was having a discussion with my grandpa and I found out that the mustard oil I used had some incantations recited upon it by an Imam (A community mosque leader).
The religious incantations (Ruqya) are basically to ward off evil spirits/energy, and my grandpa uses it on his hair and beard occasionally ever since the Imam told him he might be affected by something harming him.
I ended up using that same oil for rubbing out my kebab downstairs. To make things worse, I infused that shit with my semen and my grandpa would be using it tonight.
I don’t know if I should empty that bottle contents down the drain, or wait and see if my semen actually negated the holy effects. Either way I’m going to hell.”
As expected, all the commenters on Reddit told him to hurry up and throw that bottle away. However – he was too late: “He used it before I could dispose of it. At least he said he felt relieved like always.”
And if that’s not crazy enough for you… a few days later, the guy came back to Reddit – with another update.
“Next two days, I stayed over at my cousin’s place and just got back this morning. Right as I came back, Mom recommended me to massage my hair with the oil given by the Imam as it felt “soothing”.
As she was saying it, I visualised my demonic jizz nuclei laughing and slowly sliding into the bottle, and then being mixed in it throughout.
I snapped back, and acted like I wasn’t convinced to do it. She told me it was my choice, and that everyone in the house (Parents, grandparents and siblings) had done it and felt better.
I rushed to the bathroom to check the bottle because I couldn’t believe what she said, and the bottle was nearly empty with the slightly bubbly end left over for me.
I froze over the realisation that each of my family members had used my mayonnaise infused sanctified oil on their faces and hair, and I haven’t been able to look at any of them in the eye ever since I left the bathroom.”