While some of us are very comfortable with who we are, and with our social life as gay men – for this guy on Reddit, life is hard, being a lonely gay guy in a group of easy-going straight men and women – and he’s jealous, and even resentful.
“My closest friends are all straight guys, I’ve known them for years”, he writes. “I’m working on being confident and building self esteem in myself, but anytime I talk to my friends, hear about their lives or think about them or their lives it really gets me down.”
They just seem to never have a problem getting attention from girls, having someone ‘lined up’ that they are interested in, etc.
My best friend has had sex with more girls than I’ve even met gay guys.
They meet girls at college, work, at the bar. It just makes me feel really hopeless since I do all these same things, and yet I extremely rarely meet someone for myself.
I hear them talk about their dates, who they slept with, who they are into, and I just fake a smile and act interested and supported, but deep down its like stabbing me about how much I wish I could have the same chances.
When we go to a bar I watch them all flirt or dance with the girls they are into, and I either just sit there, or find someone else that’s already in a relationship or someone that is willing to just sit and drink with me or hangout.
I kind of miss being in the closet, as at least I could have the attention the opportunities they have. Now it just feels like I’m an outcast, everyone knows I’m gay, so none of the girls seem interested in being around me, because they rather be around my straight friends or other guys.
And sometimes, he even pretends to be straight – just so he could fit in better:
I go to a bar, see a girl who seems interested, and I flirt and talk to her. That way I can at least be doing the same thing my friends are doing, have attention, and feel like everyone else. I don’t leave feeling bad and down.
I really wish I was more stereo typically gay and flamboyant, I think it would help me a lot. I’m finding it SUPER hard to find anyone because my interests different from the majority.
I understand the gay community is made up of all kinds of people, but its hard for me to meet the other kinds like me. Plus no one believes me that I’m gay.