Cheating in a relationship is never a good thing. Usually, we get to hear from the side who’s been cheated on – but this guy on Reddit is the one who cheated on his boyfriend – and decided to take it off his chest publicly.

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Sad Man in bed with phone

“I just cheated on my boyfriend…”, he writes. “I’m a fucking asshole… I despise myself. Can anyone tell me wtf is wrong with my head?!”

And then he elaborates:

I’ve been with my boyfriend for 2 years now, he’s just everything I was looking for in man… except in the bedroom.

We never truly got along on that point and we tried talking about it quite often but nothing ever really works.

But until today I was living with that with no problem you know I’d just rub one off and be done with it. But tonight I just got this insane urge in my brain, I needed sex and I needed it now. So I texted this guy I used to sleep with years ago and he came over and we had sex.

That was like 30 minutes ago and now I’m feeling like shit and don’t know what to do. I don’t want to lose my boyfriend. I truly love him with every bit of my being. I’m such an asshole, I hate myself…

Most of the commenters were understandably angry:

I hope you’re not expecting anyone to tell you, “it’s ok,” because you fucked up and need to go talk to your boyfriend about it. Hopefully he goes and finds someone worth his time.

You should tell him so he can dump your sorry ass.

You own up to your actions… and if you still want to be with your boyfriend you beg. You make sure that the rest of your efforts in the relationship go toward making up for your mistake until he tells you it’s ok to stop punishing yourself and even then you probably still should.

Though some have tried to show some more understanding

No one is perfect, there’s actually worst things to do in a relationship. Now If you can own up to it and tell him then maybe you guys can grow from this, and figure out something that works.

Perhaps this discontent was brewing for a while, perhaps you’d both been considering an open relationship. Clearly the sexual incompatibility has reared its head in these ways and ideal that would have been negotiated in advance, but you’re also a man who got insane desire and acted on it. Tons of people cheat. This isn’t the 1950s. Relax. Maybe tell him, maybe don’t.