Some headlines just make you go WTF, I know. But the world we live in is sometimes strange, and there are men out there who try to deep-fry their own cum, with olive oil, because… curiosity? (there was, however, that “cooking with semen” class in London…)

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In this case, though, things ended badly.

Young man cooking in the kitchen
Illustrative Photo

This all happened to this guy on Reddit, who happened to read a 5-year-old Reddit post in which a woman fried something that came out of her vagina, in effect making “vagina bacon.” Yes, the internet is a weird place.

“I became intrigued”, the man writes, “and wondered what would happen if I deep-fried one of my own bodily secretions.”

So he did.

I got my fryer out, and started heating the extra virgin olive oil. As this is happening, I start getting the tools necessary to collect the fried specimen.

I didn’t realize that before frying something, it needed to be coated in batter or something, so I just ejaculated directly into the apparatus. This my friends, was an immense fuckup.

By doing this, the 375 degree F oil suddenly popped, and hot (now non-virgin)oil began to sizzle all over my dick.

This isn’t even the worst part. After turning my dick into a corndog, I started flipping out and I actually ended up managing to spill it all over the floor which caused me to slip and fall onto scalding oil which essentially turned my left bicep into a chicken wing.

As you guys read this, I am currently in the hospital with 1st and 2nd degree burns due to me trying to deep fry my cum.

Mr man Taron