Sometimes life feels like the plot of a bad gay porn movie, and sometimes you look back and think a crazy Hollywood writer wouldn’t have dared write your life’s story.
But when these men on Reddit were asked to describe real sex and dating related stories from their lives, that people usually don’t believe – they came up with some weird, funny and even moving stories. Here are some of the best.
1. Double Dave
It was my first time having sex. I ended up at a gay bar by accident, with a bunch of straight friends. We were bar hoping and everyone got to choose a bar. One of the girls chose a club nobody had heard of.
We went in and there were guys in G-strings and bunny tails and bunny ears serving drinks. There was a shower show on the front stage, and it suddenly clicked in me that I was liking this… a lot. So I vowed to return a week later, alone.
After circling the block 5 times or so, I walked in, pounded a few beers, and 30 minutes later I had picked up two hot guys, who were boyfriends, and both named Dave.
I was so nervous in their car while driving to their place, that I was shaking hard… like convulsions. They thought I was just cold, because I had no jacket and it was a cool night.
So I lost my virginity in a Double-Dave threesome.
My straight friends (many of which have never had threesomes) all seemed shocked that I had a threesome my first time, and then thought I was bullshitting when I said they were both named Dave.
2. The Straight Roommate
Had a hot straight roommate who I had a super mega crush on for basically forever. He had a girlfriend and I never got even an inkling that he might be bi or whatever.
Well one night he and I and my best friend went to the gay club. Had a good time there, met some new people who were also up, when the place closed we were all gonna go back to our place to stay up.
He was riding with me and while we’re in the car he starts talking about how he liked the attention he got from guys in the club and how horny it made him. Dude just whips it out and starts stroking as we’re driving. Long story short he bred me outside the car behind the Food Lion that was by my house.
Then we started doing that all the time and it turned out that he was a big ole bottom pig and an exhibitionist. We’d cruise around the alleys when his girlfriend wasn’t over sucking and fucking each other. They’re married now.
3. You Again!
I was living just temporarily outside of Boston a while back, and this is before apps, so bars were consistently crowded.
I drive on on a Saturday night by myself and go to Club Cafe, which was quite crowded. Boston gay scene is pretty clique-y, lots of groups of friends standing around. There was one dude talking with two friends all night and I couldn’t keep my eyes from drifting towards him like constantly, he was just the hottest guy in the bar. Never saw him by himself, so didn’t walk up and say hey. Went home totally sexually frustrated.
Next day I’m in a Boston chat room, and start talking to a guy who was back home visiting family for Christmas, seemed cool. This was before everyone had photos online.
So we agree to meet the next night at Club Cafe on a Monday, meet in the front where it’s quiet. I walk in , and it’s that dude. I think I felt my heart immediately pounding in my chest, it was unbelievable to me, what are the chances.
So now I get totally nervous cause I’m sure this guy is out of my league. Well we totally hit it off, Was a great night, bjs in the car, and then a hot hotel date night the following weekend before he flew home.
4. Saint Nick
When I was under 21 I got into a club with most my family on vacation. I got in because my brother’s friend had just turned 21 and he gave me his fake ID that sort of looked like me (I was 18).
Anyways being me I went off by myself and was trying to find a guy because I was horny as fuck. the way I flirted was basically giving extended looks to guys and wait for them to look away first. If they didn’t, I figured there might be something there.
I’m looking at this one guy who’s looking back at me and he walks over. All of the sudden he’s like “why you looking at me huh?!”, he’s pissed and aggressive as fuck. I told him “I don’t know man you look like somebody I know”. He’s like “well who the fuck do you think I am? what my name fucker??”
Panicked, I just said the first name that came to my mind “Nick?”. He looked confused, and slightly less aggressive. “yeah. yeah my name’s nick”. He started to calm down even more and asked “how do I know you?”.
I told him I was from upstate NY and apparently he went to camp around there or some shit. He ended up being like “sorry, I though something else was going on”, making it pretty clear he was gonna rough me up because he suspected I was into him.
The kicker? I couldn’t figure out how I just pulled the name Nick out of my ass. Turns out the fake I got from my brother’s friend had the name “Nicolas” on it. I had memorized it without realizing I guess. Probably my biggest lived coincidence.
5. And Then There Were Handcuffs
Met a cute guy at a bar. Upon closing, we were walking out and the guy’s friends that were with him started acting belligerent for no reason. I think they started to fight some random dude in the street.
The guy I was talking to runs ahead to stop it. All of a sudden, cops pulled up and they all get arrested. I think it started at the bar because the bartender was calling someone while at the door on our way out.
6. Third Time’s A Charm
I got stood up one night by a friend, we were meeting in gay club, and if memory serves he had to work that night last minute.
While I was waiting for him these three guys came and sat with me (club full, I had a 4-way table to myself). Turned out they were male models and one of them was majorly into me. I wasn’t interested, but somehow got talked into going back to his hotel with him…
We ended up fucking, still don’t know how he talked me into it… And when we were done I left. One of the other guys caught hold of me in the corridor, pulled me into his room and we fucked. Done, I went to leave again only for the 3rd guy to grab me to fuck.
It was both glorious and exhausting.
7. That’s The Way It Is
All my hookups are like that. No one believes that hot young men are so much into daddies. I have to show them the pics.