Relationships should build up on a foundation of honesty. But sometimes, especially when you get to know someone on an app like Grindr, things start out with a little bending of the truth here and there… And then what do you when that lie grows and grows and grows?
That’s what happened to this guy on Reddit, whose boyfriend insisted on only going out with men of a certain age – so he lied about it. Then, months later – his lie was about to get exposed.
“I met my boyfriend on Grindr almost a year ago”, he writes. “I didn’t have my age on my profile. But in my bf’s description thingy it said ’21+ only’. Well I was only 20 at the time.”
Obviously, that’s when things started to go wrong.
“We started messaging each other and I asked about his age requirement. He said it was because he’s 26 and not interested in dating someone too much younger. He said ideally he would want someone his own age.
He also said he likes to go to bars and stuff and doesn’t want to have to deal with the hassle of dating someone who can’t get in.
So I ended up saying I was 22. I have a really good fake ID that I use, so my bf never figured out my age.
Fast forward. Now my bf is 27 and studying for the Bar. (He just graduated law school).
Meanwhile, my 21st birthday is coming up in a few days. And all of my friends are planning this big celebration since it’s a milestone.
Now the obvious solution would be to tell my friends to cancel the whole thing. But I just feel like eventually my bf is going to find out the truth. And I’m really scared because, I mean, he’s going to be a lawyer and he’s a really ethical person. And I’ve technically been breaking laws and all of that and I’ve also been lying.
I feel like he’s gonna be pissed that I’ve been lying this whole time or think I’m crazy or something.
And what if he doesn’t wanna date someone six years younger? He already calls me a “baby” even though he thinks I’m turning 23 instead of 21…”
A few days later, the guy came back with an update – after telling his boyfriend the truth.
“I ended up talking to my bf. It was good and bad. The bad part was that I realized this is worse than I thought in terms of the lying. I guess I didn’t see how this had spiraled out of control so much until I had to sit down and actually talk about it.
I asked if I could come over to his apartment to talk to him. He was super busy but I said it was really important.
So I sit down on the bed and I’m like ‘promise you won’t break up with me or hate me.’
Then he asked if I had cheated or something. I was almost glad he asked that because anything else I told him would be better than that. So I told him it wasn’t cheating but that I hadn’t been fully honest with him since the beginning of our relationship.
By then he was getting kind of tired of me beating around the bush so I just said it: On my birthday I’ll be 21 and not 23.
He was really surprised and at first he thought I was kidding and then told me to tell him what I really came to talk about. And I told him that was it. And I brought out both my IDs (fake and real) because I brought them especially to show him.
And then he looked and was like ‘oh my god you’re such a liar.’ But it was weird because he honestly looked like he was trying not to laugh.
I said I was sorry though. I didn’t even have to tell him why I lied because he remembered our first conversation.
And then he started asking if there was anything else I had lied about. And I mean, there is. But it’s all related to my age….
I had to say I was EXTREMELY sorry that I almost got us banned from a club because he’d argued with the bouncer who said my ID was fake. I also had to apologize for a similar incident at a liquor store where my ID was temporarily confiscated and the manager almost called the cops.
Anyway, when I finished, he said he felt like a complete idiot and that if he couldn’t even figure this out he’ll probably be a terrible lawyer. And even though he was half-joking that made me feel awful because he’s really not dumb. He just trusted me way more than I deserved.
But he didn’t dump me (at least not yet lol). I don’t know if he was oddly flattered that I went through so much just to date him he or if he was just horny or sick of studying or what. But we ended up having really weird rough sex which was kind of fun.
And then when that was over he told me not to lie anymore. And believe me, I’m not going to because this was stressful AF.”