Wentworth Miller, The 44-year-old actor/writer/major hunk is not only openly gay, but is also very open about his struggles with mental issues. In a recent Facebook post, he talks about the effects anger had in his life.
Wentworth, who was back on our screens these past two years thanks to The CW’s “The Flash” (and then “Legends of Tomorrow“), is also set to appear in the “Prison Break” reboot, debuting in early 2017.
On his Facebook page, Wentworth often writes about mental issues and struggles – and this week, he wrote about Anger, and the important function it has in our lives.
Anger gets a bad rap.
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve said, “I’m angry” and immediately been shushed and hushed. “Don’t be angry.” “Calm down.” “Anger serves no purpose.”
None of these responses were helpful. I judge the last to be a lie.
I’m human. Humans get angry. I’m a 44-year-old queer man of color with a history of mental health issues making his imperfect way through an imperfect world and some things are going to piss me right the f-ck off.
For good reason.
And that’s okay.
I believe anger can be justified. I believe anger can be channeled in healthy and even constructive ways. I believe anger can be expressed appropriately, cutting clean and hot, without wounding myself or those around me.
But it takes awareness. Intention. And a lot of practice.
As an adult who experiences this emotion on a regular basis (also joy, guilt, shame, fear, and sadness), I consider it my responsibility to build safe and structured containers in which to put my anger.
I once spent long hours working on a job that triggered me deeply. Daily. When I recognized that anger was building up inside me, threatening to come out sideways (i.e., inappropriately), I had a boxing dummy set up in a corner of the sound stage. I bought an aluminum bat from the thrift store for 5 bucks and, whenever necessary, would excuse myself to that corner and beat the sh-t out of that dummy.
The ritual was cathartic. Transformative. It never failed to leave me feeling calm and grounded. Expressed. Ready to get back to work.
A few co-workers giggled when I first brought that dummy in. But in the end it was put to excellent use. And not just by me.