Sometimes it feels like young YouTubers these days are coming out left and right. But while it is indeed a much more open world than it used to be, coming out publicly is still not easy – but Mason Healy decided to take the plunge.
Mason is a 23-year-old actor/model/YouTuber who grew up as a Mormon in Salt Lake City – which makes things even more complicated for him.
“I’m so scared and nervous to do this”, he says in the beginning of the video, “But for some reason I’ve had this sense of urgency to film this video and get it out there. It’s just time for me to share this part of my life with you.”
And then he begins his coming out:
A part of my life that I haven’t really talked to you guys about is that I’m bisexual. It freaks me out to say that, is scares me, but I feel like it really is time to talk about that part of my life.
At a very young age I heard the word gay and I knew there was a negative association with it. People used it as an insult and automatically I felt that it was a bad thing.
Fast forward to 5th grade, when I found out that I was attracted to guys. I saw an image of two guys kissing, and I got very excited and stressed, and just this huge realization dropped on me, that I was gay or I was into guys.
And that scared me so bad, tying it to myself and saying that I’m into that… I immediately panicked and started throwing up. I didn’t go to school for 3 days, and I made a promise to myself that I was never going to tell anyone. I felt like I didn’t have anyone to go to.
My family was Mormon, and in that religion, being gay isn’t a normal thing.
I joined the basketball team even though I hated it – I just knew I had to do whatever it took to appear as manly as possible. I was denying myself of the things I really liked, so that no one would find it out.
In middle school, I started getting bullied a ton. Apparently my efforts to hide this part of myself weren’t good enough and people could still pick up the fact I was more feminine. So I got made fun of all the time, I got bullied to no end.
People in my community and culture were so against anything that had to do with gay or bisexual and it was really really scary to feel so alone.
Through middle school I was really confused – I had crushes on girls, but I was so confused because I was also attracted to guys and had crushes on guys, so how does that work?
From there, fast forward to high school, I had a best friend Lindsey, and we started to date and we got serious, so I was thinking in my head – this is perfect, we can get married, and we’ll live happily every after.
I was in love with her, but I also wasn’t being fully honest and I was digging myself into this deep dark hole. We ended up moving in together. After about 4 years I started feeling really guilty. I started to know I had to tell her.
She was the first person I ever told, and for her to be OK with it and be accepting and loving with me… while she’s the one who should have been be the most mad, we had all those plans for the future. It was really freaking cool to know that I was going to be OK.
Eventually we decided to explore the world apart from each other. At this point I decided that I wanted to explore this other side of me, so I went on dates with guys.
Then I decided to tell my religious family.
Find out how it all turned out in the full video: