Browsing for “spicy” porn in the UK? Get ready, as a new bill might soon ban UK internet users from watching “unconventional” sexual acts. Who said there’s no censoring in the digital age?

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According to The Guardian, A new clause added to a government bill currently going through parliament, would force internet service providers to block sites hosting content that would fail to be certified for commercial DVD sale by the British Board of Film Classification (BBFC) – which includes “non conventional sexual acts”.

While there is no clear definition as to what is considered “non conventional sexual acts”, according to reports, this would include videos of spanking, whipping (not the whipped cream kind), urination and sex in public. That pretty much covers every other porn site you’ve ever been to.

In addition, porn sites would have to adhere to an old unofficial DVD rule, called – and this is not a joke – “the four-finger rule”, which limits the number of fingers that can be inserted into an orifice (any orifice…) for sexual stimulation. Three fingers are OK though for those kinky Brits.

In order to comply with these new rules, should the Digital Economy Bill pass, adult websites would have to block the problematic sections (if not the whole site) to UK audiences.

In addition, porn websites of any type (even those that only show 3 finger penetration) would have to verify whether their users are over 18. This, in effect, might create a database of Brits who have specifically asked to watch porn. Ouch.

The only thing left to wonder, is who at the BBFC would get to job of checking, and classifying the suspect videos. That person is going to have… an interesting job.

h/t: Attitude