It’s Pride season all over the world, and while for many this is a time of fun and joy, for others – Pride can be a difficult time – especially if they feel like “they don’t look the part”, as is the case for this guy who posted on Reddit.

World Pride Parade in Canada
World Pride Parade in Canada. Photo: Deposit Photos / Goldenshrimp

“Pride (among other things lately) have been crushing my self-esteem”, he writes. And explains:

I’ve struggled with body image issues and weight a good chunk of my life, and as we know, we’re not always the most welcoming community for people that don’t fit the “ideal” body type. Too fat? Ew. Old and fat? Even more ew. I’m simultaneously sick of it and struggling with it.

Pride is always a VERY difficult time for me when it comes to issues like this. All I see are twinks, twunks, otters, and other very sexy, but judgy people running around having a great time shirtless, or at the very least having (seemingly) the time of their life. Though I don’t mean to say it’s limited to Pride, by any means.

Try dating when you’re a bigger guy. It’s damn near impossible. Sure, I can find people that are attracted to me, but the feeling is far from mutual. And yes, I realize that it is the pot calling the kettle black. But like I said, I too am struggling with it. I feel bad everytime I have to shut someone down because I don’t find them attractive, mainly because I am there 99% of the time from other guys.

I feel like the only way I am going to find a guy that I share a deep attraction with is when I am a lot skinnier. And while I am trying to get to that point, it’s far from an overnight process, and when you’re feeling rather lonely and dejected from the community as a whole, it does not help.

So what I really want to know is what do you do if you are feeling unlovable, ugly, not good enough to be part of the gay community or any combination of those and others? What helps you feel better? How do you gain confidence in attracting guys that you like and that like you back?

Some of the commenters tried pointing out that he’s also being just as judgmental:

You’re being just as judgy as you are accusing others of.

Only you can change what you don’t like about you, so quit making excuses and blaming everybody else for problems you caused and continue to cause yourself.

Many of those guys you see were just like you and then they quit feeling sorry for themselves, quit blaming everyone and else did something about it.

But is it really his responsibility to “do something” about himself?