Some people prefer to keep it quiet during sex, while some love dirty talk. But what do you when you’re a polite, mild-mannered person – but you love talking dirty in bed? That’s the problem this guy on Reddit was facing, so he came for advice.

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Lying in bed

“Alright so I love talking dirty when I’m having sex”, he writes, “nothing turns me on more.”. But – there’s a problem:

Because my parents were super tough regarding manners and being polite etc, I have a hard time busting out dirty talk during a hookup, mid-sex, out of the blue, and possibly upsetting the person I’m with.

Say, if it’s a hookup situation, where you actually meet the person at a bar or something and don’t have time to discuss these things like you might via Grindr or a dating app, what’s the appropriate protocol to follow? I love doing it, but I don’t want the person I’m with to feel bad or gross or degraded.

(Also, by talking dirty I don’t mean anything extreme. I’m talking like, “I love f**** your a**” etc.)

The commenters on Reddit had some hilarious suggestions:

  • My dearest, I was wondering whether I would be able to choke on your veiny piece of man steel after the dinner?
  • May I please stick my hard throbbing member, in your tight hole, kind sir? If it’s not too much trouble?
  • Say it in an English accent. Downton Abbey style.

And one guy just had an issue with the entire thing:

So it’s not awkward to put your dick inside of him, but it’s strange and clumsy to ask what he likes to do in bed?