When we watch gay porn (or any porn for that matter), we don’t tend to think about the human beings in front of the camera.

While some men apparently like doing it and treat it as a regular profession, there are others who really do end up there just for the money, often because they have no other choice – even when they’re actually straight.

Man half face in the shadow
Illustrative Photo

That’s what happened to this guy on Reddit, who came to LA with big dreams of becoming an actor, and eventually found himself doing gay porn – because he needed the money. And he kept doing it for three years…

“I moved to LA with the dream of making it big”, he begins his story. “I am one of the many who failed.”

And he elaborates:

“I took Everything I owned (very little money) and drove to LA. I was able to rent a basement studio apartment, a shit hole.

I found some shitty talent agency, at the time they promised me steady acting work etc etc. Months went by, struggling to make rent, zero acting jobs, and then I hit rock bottom.

I called the manager at a staffing agency and told him my situation. He asked if I wanted to work the door of a gay bar that was an hour walk from my apartment.

I told him yes and i started that night. I should have left LA that day. But starting that night at that bar kept me in LA for the next 3 years.

I worked the door with another struggling actor, and we became friends. He was always flashing his cash around . He drove the nice BMW, always well dressed etc etc.

One night I finally asked him how and where was he getting all this cash. He told me that the owner of the bar is an investor in an internet company that shoots and produces gay porn. He makes roughly 1000-2000 a shoot, and may do one or two shoots a day.

I was shocked, and even more shocked by his next question. I will never forget it. “If you want in, they are always looking for guys like us.”

I met with the bar owner the next day, and that week he set me up with an agent, got all the medical tests, The agent paid for all the medical, the waxing, and two weeks from talking with my “friend” the bouncer I was on set for my first scene.

I was going to be in a group scene and I would be paid 500. I was given Viagra and I got undressed. When the director saw me nude he came up to me looked at my dick asked me how big I was, and then he asked if I would be interested in waiting four hours to do a different scene. A one on one and he would pay me 2500. I am 6’4 built, and I was doing a scene with a skinny 5’3 dude.

It was my first time having sex with a man.

The next three years I did about three scenes a week. Mixed with all the coke and alcohol it felt like 10 years. Thankfully I stayed clean in the sexual transmitted diseases department.

But the life I was living took its toll. Eventually I found help, and now have been clean and sober for a year. My life is still a struggle but I am in a better place. One day at a time.

I regret what I did, how low I valued my self-worth, for doing things with my body just to pay the bills, destroying my body with drugs and alcohol. It felt good to get this off my chest.”